When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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