apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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