used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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