Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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