Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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