this must be what syphilis tastes like
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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