it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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