HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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