i just google imaged poop.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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