I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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