We named our party play list daddy issues
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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