Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?