I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
