So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
