Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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