New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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