I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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