what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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