please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
