white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
