I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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