Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
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vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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