I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
