I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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