We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
