The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
