I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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