no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
