id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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