I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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