your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
