Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!