STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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