If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
