Just mADE A PArabola og urine
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm sobbing to NWA
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
