wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
