I'm gonna have a badass scar
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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