in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
