I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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