I'm passing your future prison.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
