the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
