I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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