And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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