he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
