I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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