No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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