just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
