I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
