Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
