We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I did not marry a roomba.
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