Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
