my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dick very happy bro
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
