i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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