Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
