thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
