i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
