you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
