Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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