i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
