The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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