dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
