fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just had sex bonerless
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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