Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
