this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
