I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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