I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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