So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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